Category: Dating and Relationships
I had heard of the chatrooms on the internet but it had never appealed to me. Talking to total strangers that you cannot see struck me as too strange. One
day I was surfing the net when I discovered MSN's chat rooms and making up a nickname decided to just watch and see what all the fuss was about. There on the screen were twenty or so people chatting away about anything and everything. As I studied the conversations afraid to join in and expose myself
as a 'newbie', I was drawn to one person. She was intelligent, witty and expressed a love of the UK, my home. She was from California a part of the States
I had never seen but was interested in. So summoning up all my courage I said hi and introduced myself. We began to chat and I found that it was very relaxed
to the point that I was amazed when the conversation ended we had been chatting for three hours totally ignoring everyone else in the room. We parted company
saying that we hoped we would bump into each other again. All that next day I wondered if that was just a polite goodbye or if she really wanted to continue
our conversation. That evening I logged on, half of me hoping she would be there the other half dreading she would'nt. Sure enough she was'nt in the chatroom
and I sat at the computer screen only half reading the conversations that flashed up before me. Then her name appeared and with the usual "hi room" she
said "hi Vince". My life suddenly became brighter in that instant. I kept telling myself it was crazy, here was a woman I only just met, hardly knew and
yet I had missed her all day. We chatted again, and the hours vanished along with the other chatters leaving us alone in the room. I had been married and
dated countless times in my then forty years of life but never had someone taken my interest so completely as this stranger from across the sea. We discussed
everything, our likes, dislikes, our troubles and our pleasures and the more we talked the more amazed we became at how much we had in comman. Weeks went
by and every evening we would meet up and talk, the three hours becoming five then eight. We exchanged pictures both afraid we would blow it by doing so
but as I looked at her picture on my screen I was amazed at the fact that no one had snapped up this American beauty in the years since her marriage had
broken up. The weeks had become months and we both admitted we had feelings for each other, our friendship becoming something far greater. Then came the
time that anyone whose ever had a internet relationship will know....the meeting. She had said that she would fly to the UK to meet me but I insisted that
I flew to the States. I explained to her my fears that should she come to me and for some reason we did'nt hit it off then she would be a woman alone in
a strange country where as for a guy it was'nt so bad. She finaly agreed and a week or two later I found myself on a plane winging my way to San Diego.
We had arranged that I would be met by her brother who would drop me off at my hotel and that I would ring her once I had freashened up and she would come
over and we would go out for a meal. Forty five minutes of pacing up and down after I made the call there was a knock on the door. I opened the door to
the most beautiful woman I have ever known. Both of us nervous as hell we kissed hello. We looked into each others eyes and that kiss became another filled
with all the emotions that had delevoped over the months of on line chatting. I stayed for two weeks taking her out after she finished work at the local
hospital. And we fell head over heels in love. I returned home, and missed her like crazy, the online chat now seeming so pale in comparison with holding
the woman I loved in my arms. She missed me too and so I jumped on a plane and went back this time for a month. This went on for five visits each time
I would extend my return ticket because we could'nt bear to part. I finally asked her to marry me and she agreed having discussed the fact she wanted to
move to the UK to be with me.
It is now two years later, Christmas 2000 and Linda is here for the holidays. This coming year we are to marry and Linda
is finalizing things prior to her move to the UK for good. My family and friends love her to bits and I feel like the luckest man on the face of the earth.
So for all you out there that read the internet horror stories of romances gone bad, take heart they can work out. Love is a wonderful thing and if true
will over come both time and distence.
Notes From The Author:
I am a forty two year old widower with a nineteen year old daughter. I live in Surrey in the UK.
wow! congratulations! I wish you all the best with everything in the future! :)
this is a true storry i get it from the internet.
I am here to say, internet love can work. I hope everyone who has doubts about it reads this. That's why I'm posting, so it will go back to the top. It's an amazing story. I found my true love online. It can happen. *big smiles*
acosha
Hey all. Well, I met my GF through a personals Web site, and our relationship is still going strong. The thing that troubles me is people who decide they're in love with someone they have not met in person. This, in my opinion, is not possible. I know some of you will disagree with me on this and I really want to hear your arguments in the face of my opinion. I have some great friends on the net, but to fall in love before meeting is not legitimate in my mind. I mean the person could have bad hygiene or a whole host of other troublesome habits that aren't evident from text-based interactions. Just my thoughts. Not meaning to offend those of you who have had such relationships, but I just can't wrap my head around it.
Leafan, I agree with you to some extent..I guess it all depends how you define "fall in love"..You can definitely get feelings for the person you talk on the net even if you met them or not, I mean if you don't have feelings for someone then why would you want to meet them in the first place..well OK of course you can consider a friendship or something, but you can't tell me that, when you were about the meet your girlfriend you weren't hoping that your meeting goes well and that something more develops out of it. Of course, I agree that you shouldn't, and I certainly wouldn't commit my self to anything serious till you actually meet the person. After all, as you said, person might be quite a bit different in real life, but all I'm saying is you sure can develop very strong feelings for someone just through talking to them, getting to know them as a person, but obviously once you have those feelings for someone, the next step, before any big/serious commitment should be meeting them in person.
I agree with this.
I think there are so many places people could fall in love and of course the internet is just another medium at your disposal. It's very interesting how you get to know a person a lot differently online than in real life but in order for true feelings to be realized you have to meet in real life, and I did meet acosha through a web site. :)
I mean, we talked a lot and we definitely knew we had a lot in common and there was something there before we started talking on the phone but it wasn't love, it was more of a potential.
It wasn't really until we started talking on the phone too whee at least I could put the voice and some of the little cute characteristics to the screen name where she started taking on a life of her own and that's really where something started happening. Then, of course, for things to truly work (or for you to truly finding out if they do work) you have to meet in person and I was lucky in that I could get a very inexpensive flight and we had a chance to meet less than 3 months after we first chatted online.
I think there are some cool things about the net way of meeting peole. You get to know the personality, first time impressions like looks or whatever do not affect the judgement/selection as much, it's more what / who you are compatible with, hobbies, approach to life and stuff like that. In a way you could get to know the person so much better before you meet. Of course the flip side is that the person you get to know online may actually not at all be the person you end up meeting. You can say and do and be whatever you want online and no one has to know. :) I probably could not be aa convincing grandmother but, heck, online I could pretend to be if I wanted to, who would have to know?
So, I think it's a beautiful story and I'm very thankful for having had the incredible opportunity to find someone so amazing online and actually be with her, I even got into university as well, but nevertheless I'd advise everyone that is looking for online romance to be careful, talk to people and just find out who is interesting and fun as a friend, don't just go online to find a lover, it will not be as enjoybale as you'd imagine. I love chatting with everyone, getting to know different people, discuss everything from music to politics and just add being online like another place I can be during the day or night to "hang out" meeting people is extra and may be you get lucky and meet that special someone, but don't think it'll happen every time or right away or even at all. Just enjoy it for what it is and if it's meant to happen it will, you'll find your special someone somewhere, on the net, in a grocery store, at a baar, through a friend .. I think things are meant to happen and they will, no need to worry about it.
Awwww, sweet, wildebrew. Thanks for the compliments. *blushes*
I agree with what you guys said here. I have very strong alliances with a small handful of net friends. We are each other's confidants. We met out of common interests and now we tell each other everything. I mean we don't put our offline lives on hold to chat, but we keep in touch and they are wonderful people. Can't wait to meet them in person someday!
great post Wileblew! couldn't have said it better meself. .. and best of luck to you and Acosha! sounds like you two have really hit it off! :)
Ok, one more time! Bear with me! Just posted on another topic about this but..
I met TL, TheListener on here. We became close as friends, and chatted regularly on here, and on Msn. There were some circumstances which brought us closer as friends, but we always had very good online chemestry.
Then we took our friendship off the net, and on to the phone. That was when our feelings for each other really manefested and became very apparent.
We have talked everyday without fail since July 27, and have even met up in person, and are very much in love, and have such a mutual love/trust and have so much respect for each other it's unreal! i have never, ever, had that! Not ever! Not in any of my relationships i have been a part of.
So, I am about to spend my holidays with him if everything goes well. And, one other thing. He and my little girl get on well.
And, we are both aware of the fact, that things deffinently aren't going to be easy, in fact we are finding some aspects rather difficult. But we are so serious about each other, and about our relationship, and what we have, that we are willing to do just about anything, to make this work. ither way, one of us will make the move, and do whatever it takes so we can be together.
Charis
I met my current girlfriend on an e-mail list. Thing is, neither of us were really actively looking for anyone and just started e-mailing back and forth. Then we added phone calls to that and started calling each other once a week. As time passed, we just started making a connection, finding out we had many things in common and shared the same twisted view of life and all that. We then started making plans to meet and became a couple right before we met. It was just a feeling we both had that this was something neither of us could either pass up or just call a close friendship. After three-and-a-half years, we now live together and could not be happier. I feel bad for people who criticize hte idea of people meeting through the net and personals and such, as it is just another medium where people can meet. Yes, there's potential for stalkers and such, but this is true in real life as well.
love stories make me gitty! U guys deffinitly had lots of m. I agree with some people on here though, that u don't really fall in love right away on the net, rather u would have to meet the person first. I couldn't amagin falling in love with a person with out meating them first. That whole idea would scare me. Mind you, that doesn't matter now, because I love my Radio man! I know how it is though, all of that comunicating. We went at one point in time a year with out seeing one an other, so the net and the phone was what kept us going. I think people should be thankful for an other way to meat people and even maybe fall in love.
I met my first boyfriend through a free phone chat number that's now non-existant and things didn't work out, but it wasn't because of the phone or the internet or whatever. Now I'm in my second relationship and it's long-distance again, even longer this time because he's across the ocean. But, right away he's made research and plans to come see me in person, so once that happens, I'll let you know if one of the ultimate steps in making a relationship work has worked!
Ok this didn't post so trying again.
Now I didn't use the internet to find love. But I met the guy first before we used it as conversation tool. I met him while in training in late August. He was a intern, I was a student. We weren't all to social, I just said hi, and introduced myself. The second class session, after class he was in the other room just sitting there relaxing before he had to clock in. We talked for a few minutes and then next thing I know we're talking on the internet via messenger and email. A week or so later we used the phone a couple of times. My last two classes that summer he observed and we hit off quite nicely. The more we talked on the phone and on the net, the more we got to know each other, trust each other. Things were going well. I wont name his name, he knows who he is. But I didn't know he too was a fellow zoner tilwe had our first voice chat on messenger. I showed him the url and he said "Oh yeah I'm a member there." And it's a small world if you ask me. But things went too far, too fast both on the net and on the phone. We never saw each other again. Things got out of control, and I felt uncomfortable. Going too far and too fast will blow up at you if you're not careful and it did on both ends. We never spoke for the rest of that month and this month til now. I wasn't looking on the zone for him, but a friend of mine notified me he was there. We PMed each other, then moved to Messenger. It was small talk, It just didn't feel the vibe anymore and it was time to move on. I knew it, because of the way this guy acted. He and I both live in the same state and he's a few years older then I. His medical problems did not bother me one bit as he accepted mine. The fear we both had was going long distance, neither of us knew where my dad was going to get his job at. And I was just too hopeful things would work. As one of my friends told me "He's just one guy, there's plenty of guys out there, you just need to take the time and look." But I would never use the internet to meet a guy and date. No, thats not for me. But if you were already in that relationship and knew the person outside the net then use the net for communication purposes then I would see a reason for using it. But hadn't things gone hellish, I would've considered him a friend still. Because he was one of the sweetest guys I met. I mean it right there. He knows who he is. He helped me learn and trust and helped me get over my phobia of dating other blind guys. Because the first guy I dated was so horrible I just vowed not to date another blind guy because I was afraid to get hurt. And this guy, the second guy I almost dated showed me that there are decent guys out there with disabilities, I just need to learn how to trust. And the next guy I do date will go much slower. But to you Season, congrats to you. And to the other net coupls on the zone, good luck and I hope things will work for all involved. :)
Well said blindvi. If you go too fast it doesn't work. I know from experience. And no internet love is not for me either but I do believe it works. Believe it or not most people I've met up here at rehab I've actually talked somewhere on the net before. No it wasn't a planned meeting, it's just something that happened.
Troy
Yup same here Troy. Most of the peeps I met that are blind or vi either knew about HB, EPals or The Zone. A few of them happen to be members but it's on rare occations I see someone s/n that I can reconize. It was a shame though, the guy I met a few months ago was a really nice guy, he really was.
hmmm, what i can see is internet can really work. but must bee carefull and at the same time must give chance as well. god bless to all the couples here.
I agree with all of you. The thing s I know people who don't know their supposed girlfriends or boyfriends, and they say I love you all the time. Maybe they do. Maybe they don't. I don't know. All I know is this, where there is a will there is a way.
wow, all of these wonderful stories :) I've always kept myself away from internet love, and I still have my doubts about it. In all honesty, though, I would have to know the person in RL first, but hey, that's just me :) I have had many deep and interesting convos with other guys before, but Ive never allowed myself to start a relationship because I do have a lot of issues with trust as some of you already know. Anyway, to season, best of luck :)
to start a relationship online, that is! Hahaha! Sorry if it came off the wrong way :P
I guess online relationships can work. But I'm kind of scared of them, heeheh! At least, for now. Well anyway i'm too young for a relationship, online or no, at least, I feel that way. So yay for that hehehe! I shal enjoy my childhood while it lasts!
Caitlin
Well then, I suppose I'm too old for one.
Lol I'm scared of online relationships too caitlin! I'm just scared that I'll end up meeting a guy that's creepy and scary or something, Hahahhaha!
hmmm and I spose I've always been too old for them, or too young, or something.
hmmm not prepared to fall in love yet. so ... don't care no matter internet or localy.
The internet is just another medium to meet people. I mean we talk to all sorts of people in life, some of them we develop good friendships with, and some we just keep as aquaintences. And if you talk long enough to someone it is definitely possible to develop an atraction to that person, well to that person's personality. But to fall in love with someone you've never met? Well technically it is possible to fall in love with the ideal of the person you are talking to, but you can never be sure, not 100% sure until you and that person have actually met, and established whether there is a physical atraction as well, because you cannot be physically atracted to someone you have never met before, anything you imagine to be happening between you is, in actual fact, just fantacy, and will never become reality until you meet in person. That does not mean that people who meet on the internet cannot fall in love, get married, and have a future together, but that possibility of a future cannot actually be established until they have met. I have heard so many people talk of engagement and marriage to their internet love, and yet they've never even held hands or kissed each other, never even sat down together and watched tv, how can you possibly be sure that you will spend the rest of your life with someone until you know what they are really like as a person. let's face it, we all sign in when we want to, and when we're not in the mood, we don't sign in, so that internet love never has to see you in a bad mood until you meet them, and have convinced them that you're the most easy going person they've ever met.
Wait, Seasonm, this didn't happen to you, right, this was a friend, because you're a girl, I thought? So ... yeah. How did you find this, just wondering? And hehehe i'm nto ready for love, on or offline, and if it were online, I'd be scared that the person would be creepy ehhe.
Caitlin
I spose everyone has expected me to appear and here I am.
one thing I can say about any type of love on line or off is get to know the person first as a friend before progressing. learn what each others likes dislikes moods and ways they act around others are like before you make a decission.
matrix and I new each other very well before we went to the dating stage, we had been friends for a year and a half before we went to the next stage.
8 months later we are still very happy and will be meeting here in australia at the end of July this year.
providing it all goes well I will be going to the Us in 2006 to see his city where he has lived all his life.
I believe it is possible to fall in love sight unseen but if both of you want it to work then it will. but like in any relationship it takes honesty, loyalty, trust and good communication to make it what you want it to be.
catch ya all
yes you right caitlen, not my own expereance, i get it from the net. somebody forward to me. is true or not? hmmmm some time i wonder as well. but for sure internet love can work. i have a close friend, she met her bf here. they both just met each other on christmas last year. and they are dealling pretty good. but still the same, becarefull, and at the same time give chance as well. good lucks to all the couples. and god bless.
cheers! season
Hi all,
I'm going to add my 2 cents for what it's worth...A little over 8 years ago I met a man online. It was an Internet chat that no longer exists, but I wish it did. Anyways, we met do to 2 of our friends that we're supposedly engaged and so on, and all they'd done was met online. We were both majorly concerned to say the least. As we talked we discovered we had a lot of semular interests, and no he didn't know I was blind at this time. We exchanged 2 phone calls in the next 2 months before I told him I am blind, and he was like totally ok with it. Anyways, we continued to talk on the phone and online, and one day he said, "I have something I want you to know..." I said, "What?" He said, "I love you. Can I call?" I ran like hell. All to recently I'd been torn to pieces by a man, and I didn't want to go down this road again, but a friend gave him my number and drug me back in the dorms. And we talked constantly for the next week. Then he announced he was coming to visit. His friend was wanting to visit my friend, and he couldn't let him do it alone, and besides, it was a perfect opertunity to meet me at last. We met and the next day he asked me to marry him. That was March 7 1997. We were engaged for 3 years, but we married march 7 2000, and we are still happy and madly in love to this day. We're different, but isn't everyone? *smile*
I have an interesting view on whether on line relationships can truely work. I've experienced them first hand, and while they haven't necessarily worked for me, I do believe they can work for some. for me, my biggest problem is distance. Inevidably I always meet someone who is either out of the country, or half way across country from where I live. Also, I think it's very easy for a person to hind behind a keyboard. Umm like for me it is lol. You can talk to almost anyone just by typing to them. For me at least, that part is easy. It's speaking to them eithe rin voice chat or on the phone is where I have some trouble. I think for a lot of people, or at least for me, the keyboard is a safety net.
I will say though that I've been very fortunate. The people that I have met, while the relationships di dnot work out, have turned out to be nice people, and for the most part, the same person I originally found on line.
Siren
It's just like everything else really. It's an avenue where you meet people you never would've met otherwise. The keyboard also allows you, I think, in many ways, to be a lot more open and direct and, well candid or at least less shy than you would be in real life. It's just one more way you meet people who may or may not affect your life in one way or another. The distance is a big issue since lots of people you meet live far away, you overcome that with some, fail it with others. It's just a whole new dimension to our lives, sometimes it may work often it may not, but it's a cool addition all the same.
Cheers
-B
yes. distants will be one of the major questions in internet love. but i believe as long as you love and care your lover, no matter how far it is you will make a distants become closer and closer. keyboard? for me i'm as thruthly as i am. yes, i believe there will be some of the people who hiden behind the keyboard, but as time goes by, the thruth will appear one of the day as well. cheers: season